Ever get stuck in a “why, why, why” cycle with your spouse? Everything he or she does is the wrong thing to do, or done in the wrong way, or done at the wrong time. I remember a specific night last week when I caught myself in this spiral. By the end of the night, I was in a perpetual state of grumpiness – the tiniest annoyance added to my bitterness and indignation at my husband’s actions or inactions. I realized later that he wasn’t ignoring the lawn, he was waiting until the neighbors got home to borrow their mower, because ours wasn’t working. And that he had been paying an important and time sensitive bill on the phone while I was fuming over his inattention to household tasks. And he did come in and help with bath time, but just not at the split second I thought he should have. So, it turns out that my assumption that “my husband is just so selfish and inattentive right now” was in fact, unfounded. But, there are also times when I don’t fully understand his action or inaction, and I can’t tidily wrap up the evening with an explanation.